


Into The Wild Life

by Rogue21



Category: That '70s Show
Genre: 70s, F/M, Marijuana
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-04-19 05:33:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4734443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rogue21/pseuds/Rogue21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eric and his friends get a new group member in the form of seventeen year old Hayley (Hale) Stone, a former resident of Cleveland, Ohio and guitarist for The Screaming Priests. She finds her place within the group and takes a shine to Hyde.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scream

“I don’t want to meet the new neighbours, what if they’re idiots,” I said to my dad as he and mom walked up to the front door with sugar cookies. Our last neighbours were idiots, some super-duper Christian family who insisted on giving us lasagne’s every Sunday and repeatedly told me I was going to hell.

“Hayley dear, they have a son your age, and you need to start your junior year with some friends and that hippie dude you ran into when we moved here doesn’t count,” mom told me as I rolled my eyes and passed her the plate of sugar cookies. She did make some damn good sugar cookies, no one could resist them. Dad knocked on the door and a woman with short blonde hair answered, next to a tall balding man who looked like he was going to jam a foot in your ass for talking out of term.

“Hello, welcome to the neighbourhood, I’m Kitty Foreman and this is my husband Red,” the woman said with a grin so wide I thought her face would crack.

“Rick Stone, this is my wife Hilary and our daughter Hayley,” dad said shaking the balding man’s hand.

“Say you look about the same age as our son Eric, tell me something, do you like Star Wars?” he asked me. I shrugged at the question.

“It’s a good movie, but I’m more into horror movies than science-fiction,” I replied not particularly interested in the conversation.

“You hear that Kitty, she likes horror movies, perhaps she can knock some sense into our dumbass of a son,” he said to his wife. Kitty laughed loudly and invited the three of us in. I stepped through the door and was amazed by the ability for a room to look bored, I looked at the wallpaper wondering if it was beige.

“Well Hayley, Eric and his friends are in the basement, why don’t you go and join them, it’s like their little hangout spot,” she said encouraging me to go, probably so she could steal the sugar cookie recipe from mom. I smiled politely and looked for the door to the basement. I went through the kitchen and saw a door that led down to the basement. I opened the door and stepped down and closed it behind me, the sweet smell of marijuana caught my nose.

“Oh this seems like a good place,” I mumbled to myself as I walked down the steps following the smell. I stopped to see a group of people sitting in a circle appearing to be talking absolute bullshit.

“We should buy a bar,” shouted one of the guys, he had longish hair and seemed kind of goofy.

“We can call it…Donna,” the red head next to him said.

“Evidently her name is Donna,” I noted. I walked down the steps and into the basement and just watched them. It is one thing to be part of a circle, but it’s a whole other thing to watch a circle. Donna and the goofy one had burst into a series of giggles, whilst a guy with aviator sunglasses ranted about some government conspiracy, next to him was a skinny looking guy holding a Darth Vader figure calling it his precious and beside him was a brown-skinned boy stuffing his face with gummy bears. Suddenly the goofball looked up at me and let out a scream of terror and fell backwards off his beanbag. I started laughing as everyone turned to look at me, I wasn’t sure if Aviators was terrified of me or impressed by me.

“You guys are hilarious reminds me of Spitty and Chuckles back home, hey gummy bears boy, mind giving a gal a couple gummy bears,” I said as I walked over to their little circle. He clutched the bag to his chest and I laughed at his reaction.

“Who are you?” the skinny boy asked.

“Oh, sorry introductions, rule number one of getting high, new members of a circle must always introduce themselves, otherwise it leads to a bad trip,” I replied not answering the question.

“Who are you?” he asked again.

“Right where are my manners, the name is Hayley but I prefer Hale, because it sounds awesome, I’m from Cleveland, Ohio my parents moved us here for dad’s business, he owns a chain of movie theatres, we’re opening a new Cineplex here which he is going to oversee as our main base of operations, I play guitar, and I used to be in a band, I had to leave The Screaming Priests when we moved,” I said as I sat next to Gummy Bears who handed me a few bears.

“You play rock music, nice,” Aviators said impressed by me.

“Yep, I wanted to call the band The Screaming Orgasms, because…well because I was the singer and I tended to be a little loud, but they said it was too controversial enough, as if that wasn’t the point of the band name, we went with Priests so our drummer could write anti-church songs.”

“Don’t let mom hear you say that,” Skinny said to me.

“You must be Eric then, your scary-looking father said you’re into Star Wars,” I said looking at Skinny.

“I am a fan of the movie,” he replied nonchalantly trying to hide Darth Vader.

“Yeah, I saw Vader from the stairs, hiding it will prove nothing,” I told him with a grin. I turned to Goofball whose eyes were fixated on my chest.

“Hey Goofball, eyes up here you pervert,” I said throwing a gummy bear.

“That was a waste…I’m Fez,” Gummy Bears said.

“Nice to meet you Fez and judging by that accent, you’re from South America right?” I asked.

“None of us know where Fez is from, it’s the greatest mystery yet to be solved, I’m Hyde, rebel, burnout and hard-core Zeppelin fan,” Aviators said to me.

“Hyde, good name, I’m guessing you like all the classics, Zeppelin, Skynyrd, Cream,” I said listing the only three names I could remember.

“Who doesn’t like the classics…Jackie, Jackie doesn’t like the classics, she’s a little Disco drama queen with a hard hit,” Hyde said.

“Who’s Jackie?” I asked noticing that the only girl in group was Donna.

“She’s Kelso’s girlfriend,” Donna told me.

“And that makes goofball here Kelso, a nice bunch of people,” I said admiring the group.

“You’ll change your mind when you see Jackie,” Donna commented. Suddenly the basement door opened and in walked a short girl with thick black hair who then marched up to Kelso and smacked him hard across the back of the head.

“Jackie, what was that for?” he asked.

“You didn’t call me!” she shouted at him, hitting him again.

“Why did a scary leprechaun just start attacking Kelso?” I asked Eric.

“That’s Jackie,” he whispered to me like he was afraid of her wrath. Jackie then stopped beating Kelso and turned to me.

“And who is this, another tramp of yours, Steven?”

“Flattered Jackie, but no, I’m Hale, I’m Eric’s new neighbour, former Cleveland, Ohio rebel and former singer for The Screaming Priests, and I should probably get going. If I know my mom, she’s probably finished off the sugar cookies…man I really want a sugar cookie right now, perhaps I’ll see you guys tomorrow, I’m next door if you need me,” I said standing up and going back up the stairs. “Oh and one more thing, you guys are a little sloppy at covering this all up,” I said and left the basement.

I entered the living room a little dazed by the brightness.

“Wow that basement was darker than I thought,” I said as I spied one last sugar cookie on mom’s plate. “Can I have that?” I asked itching for the cookie.

“Sure thing Hayley,” mom said as I snatched up the cookie and devoured it.

“Your son seems nice, a little nerdy but nice, and his friends seem alright too,” I told them after swallowing most of the cookie.

“Well now that you’ve eaten the last cookie, perhaps we should get going, don’t want to intrude on your afternoon,” mom said standing up.

“Well it was lovely to meet you Hilary and you Hayley, perhaps you can be a good influence on Eric,” Kitty said to me as we walked towards the front door. I was confused by what she meant but was still dazed from the smoke. When we left the house and the door was closed mom and dad turned to me.

“Your eyes look a little glassy,” mom noted.

“Yeah, they had a circle going in the basement, my kind of people, and apparently Kitty and Red have no idea,” I told them. Dad laughed and shook his head.

“They need to be more careful, that’s why your circle was in the projection box at the theatre, great place to relax,” he said. It was true, dad loved to smoke and I had picked up the habit from him, mom didn’t mind as she loved her whisky’s and her rule was ‘keep it in the bedroom or the projection box’, that also went for sex as well. As we passed the driveway I saw Hyde leaning against a Vista Cruiser drinking a beer. He glanced up at me and I nodded to him as we passed.


	2. I Am The Fire

I stared up at the ceiling, Dark Side of the Moon playing in my room and smoke swirling above me. School was three days away for me, the term had already started for everyone else but I wasn’t due to start until Monday. I glanced at the unopened birthday present from my grandmother sitting by my TV and sat up.

“I should open it,” I said to myself as I waved smoke out of my face and put out the joint. I went to the window and out of my window could spy the Vista Cruiser, Hyde was there again, but this time he was playing basketball. I opened the window to let some air in and saw Eric exit the house. I went to turn off the record and climbed out of the window into the tree outside my bedroom and perched there to listen to their conversation.

“I got to give it to you foreman, you are the luckiest guy alive, to have to two hot girls living next door to you,” Hyde said throwing him the ball.

“You think this Hale girl is hot?” Eric asked.

“Of course, she had a Pink Floyd shirt on and she’s a musician,” he told his friend.

“So ask her out, or are you too shy,” Eric said mockingly. I laughed a little at the two of them as they threw the ball around. Donna and Jackie then joined the two of them from the other side of the street.

“Hey guys, any thoughts on our new neighbour?” Eric asked them. I smirked wondering what Bubblegum-Bitch and Donna thought of me.

“I think you’re quite charming,” someone said. I looked sideways and saw Fez sitting in another branch on the tree.

“What…are you doing?” I asked him confused by why he was in the tree.

I can see Donna’s bedroom from this tree, it’s a nice view,” he replied with a grin. Uncomfortable with the situation, I dropped down from the tree and decided to join them. Jackie wasn’t too pleased to see me walking over to the Cruiser.

“Well if it isn’t the new Point Place Skank,” she said in a very snobby tone, I could she wasn’t keen on me.

“Well I lost out on the title of Cleveland Skank to that bitch Cheryl Green, so thanks I’ve always wanted to be a skank,” I replied back with a cheery tone. “Anyway, I have a proposition, my dad is opening up the new cinema tonight with a midnight showing of Close Encounters of the Third Kind, my dad took a bunch of films from the old cinema with us when we left so as a favour to him, I’m going to be up in the projection box, one of you can be up there with me and the rest of you will get to see the movie for free,” I said. They all seemed to enjoy the idea then Eric stepped forward.

“Did you bring a copy of Star Wars with you?” he asked trying to sound cool. I nodded.

“Midnight showing of Star Wars next Friday good for you?” I suggested. Eric nodded eagerly.

“Well in that case, Hyde, ever got high in a projection box, my parents have one rule, keep in the bedroom or the projection box,” I told him.

“Does that go for sex too?” he asked me.

“Oh yes,” I replied with a sly wink.

“Ew, you have sex at the movie theatre?” Jackie asked disgusted.

“And you’ve never had sex outside your own bedroom Princess Bubblegum?” I asked her. She kept her mouth shut at that comment. I saw Donna’s father Bob, who I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting when we first moved in, walking towards the driveway, time to get away. “Well I have to get out of here, Close Encounters of the Third Kind tonight, you all get in free, Hyde you’re up in the projection box with me,” I said as I quickly ran away back to my house.

I went through the front door, relieved that Bob had missed me, I wasn’t keen for another lecture about the ‘importance of making good spaghetti sauce’. Mom was sitting going over papers with a glass of Jack.

“Oh hi honey…weren’t you in your room?” she asked confused by my entering through the front door.

“I met with the guys outside and then Bob showed up,” I told her sitting down on the sofa.

“I see, you’re going to the Cineplex tonight right?” she asked.

“Yep, I told the guys to come too, dad wants me to man the projection box so I told Hyde he could be up there with me, I don’t doubt he’s snuck into movies before.”

“You seem interested in this Hyde kid.”

“He’s pretty cool, better than that idiot Jefferson,” I replied. Oh Jefferson, his full name was Tommy Jefferson. He was a varsity jock on the football team. He seemed to have a thing for me because he liked ‘burn-out chicks’ so he insisted on spending time with me, none of the cheerleaders liked the idea of the star varsity player going after the girl who was getting a D in Gym, and neither did I. I finally agreed to go to a drive-in movie with him to see an old King Kong movie and I ended up giving him a bloody nose. And that didn’t stop him.

“Oh that guy was all over you, even after you punched him in the face,” mom commented. I laughed and stood up.

“Well can’t say I’m looking forward to school Monday, but hey, Close Encounters of the Third Kind tonight,” I said heading up to my room.

I opened the door to my room and saw the present from my grandmother, I picked it up and opened up the wrapping to see it was a Led Zeppelin t-shirt.

“Thanks grandma,” I murmured. I put the shirt on the bed ready to change when I saw Fez still in the tree. “Fez what are you doing?” I asked him going to the window.

“I’m stuck,” he said bowing his head in shame. I rolled my eyes and leaned out to grab his hand and help inside.

“Fez, you can’t just climb trees if you don’t know how to get down, you need to get a date man, otherwise you’ll just come off as creepy,” I told him leading him out of my room and down the stairs.

“But girls don’t like me, they think I’m weird,” he said to me. I rolled my eyes at the wasted potential.

“Fez, you’re foreign, you’ve got a South American accent, and you’re not white, do you know how many white girls at my last high school would have killed to date a guy like you, a lot. One girl I knew would go to Brazil just to hook up with guys over the semester breaks, trust me Fez, with the right attitude, you’ll have girls eating out of your palms,” I told him. He grinned gleefully at my mini speech.

“You’re right, I can do this, thank you Hayley,” he said and marched out the front door. I turned to see mom sitting at the coffee table staring at me.

“Who was that?” she asked confused as to why Fez just appeared in the house.

“That’s Fez, he’s foreign,” I told her and went back upstairs.


	3. Sick Individual

It was eleven thirty and I was waiting outside of dad’s new Cineplex waiting for Eric and his friends to show up. People were already queuing up for the Close Encounters of the Third Kind showing and it was getting cold quickly. I looked ahead of the queue to see Eric and his friends and waved to him.

“Oi Skinny, over here,” I called to him. The group made their way down past the queue towards me.

“Quite the crowd for Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” Eric commented. I nodded with grace and bowed.

“I aim to please, now come on, let’s get set up,” I said inviting them inside.

“Why do they get to go in first?” one guy at the front asked irritated.

“Because my dad owns the cinema,” I replied with a smile and went inside. The cinema was clean and new and some of the new staff were already setting up the food and ticket stand.

“Alright, Eric, you take Donna, Jackie, Kelso and Fez to cinema one that’s where the film is being held, make sure to get your snacks first, Hyde you’re with me up in the projection room,” I said to them.

“Alright we get to see a movie for free,” Kelso said with emphasis on the word free.

“Only for the midnight screenings we’re going to be doing twice a month,” I told him. They left to stock up on snacks whilst Hyde and I made our way up to the projections room so I could set up the movie.

The projection room wasn’t particularly big, it didn’t matter, so long as you could house about fifty movie reels. I grabbed the Close Encounters movie and set up the reels so that I would be able to get them switched quickly and efficiently.

“So are your family like rich or something?” Hyde asked as I sat down to set up the reels.

“Sort of, we have like eight cinemas in the Midwest, three in Ohio, two in Wisconsin, one in Minnesota and two in Illinois,” I told him.

“And yet you came to Point Place,” Hyde commented looking through the opening that overlooked the screen.

“Yeah, I attribute that to my parents being nothing like rich people, when you’re rich you act a certain way, my parents attended a dinner at some Ohio millionaire’s mansion and my dad threw cheese cubes at a senator saying ‘eat the cheese Mr. Man’ I wish I had been there,” I told him. I didn’t dare mention the punch bowl incident with mom.

“Your parents sounds awesome.”

“Oh yeah, and I know they’d like you, definitely more than Jefferson,” I told him.

“Who’s Jefferson?” Hyde asked.

“A varsity jock who was obsessed with going out with me, I caved in, went to a drive-in movie and ended up punching him in the face, I thought a bloody nose would have got the message across but it didn’t, in the end leaving was the only way I could escape him,” I explained.

“Sounds bad, I mean you might get that with Fez, but as long as he doesn’t show up in Point Place, you’re free from this jock,” he said. I couldn’t argue with that logic. The reels were all set up and people were pouring into the theatre to get seated for the movie, there were a lot of teenagers and I could see Kelso and Jackie making out with each other right next to Eric who looked very uncomfortable.

“All couples are permitted to make out during the course of the movie except for Kelso and Jackie, you guys are one accident away from a teenage pregnancy,” I shouted through the window. A lot of the audience began laughing as Jackie glared up at me.

“Oh I’m going to enjoy being friends with Jackie,” I said cheerfully.

I started up the movie and the cinema was quiet, well except for Kelso who’s loud renditions of ‘oohs’ and ‘no way’ were starting to irritate everyone. Hyde and I however were fine just chatting away about Ohio.

“So we’re on the stage and just as I’m about to start singing a cover of Pink Floyd’s Breathe, Jefferson gets up on stage and proudly declares his love for me in front of everyone, now I was a sophomore in a band with two juniors who look at me like a little sister and a freshman who thinks I could be like Cherie from The Runaways, and Spitty just lunges out from behind the drum kit and pushes him off stage and says ‘don’t interrupt our set you jackass’ it was the most eventful dance of the year,” I said.

“I bet, what happened after?” Hyde asked.

“Oh it was after that, that I punched him in the face at the drive-in, I have asked everyone on the football team, the cheerleaders, even the other sports teams why he was obsessed with me and they all said the same thing ‘that I wasn’t like them’ honestly I think he was trying to win a bet with his friends,” I replied.

“He must have wanted to win badly,” Hyde said. The sound of Kelso shouting Jackie’s name interrupted us. I looked out to see Jackie storming out of the room and Kelso following after her.

“Looks like goofball done fucked up again,” I noted to Hyde.

“It’s Kelso, he’s fallen off the water tower every year,” Hyde told me.

“Every year?” I asked not believing it.

“Oh it’s true, and next year he’ll fall off again,” Hyde replied. I was intrigued by this information, but figured I should see if Jackie was okay.

“Keep an eye on the projector alright, I’m going to find Jackie, she looked mad,” I said getting up from my seat and leaving the room. I head down into the lobby where Jackie was sitting by the pillar with bits of popcorn stuck in her hair. I smirked a little and held back a burst of laughter. “Let me guess, Kelso’s fault?” I asked her.

“Who eats buttered popcorn in the dark anyway,” she said.

“Well I do, but I’m guessing you’re pissed off, where’s Kelso?”

“He’s supposed to be getting me something to get this popcorn grease out,” Jack said in an irritated tone.

“Sweetie, that’s butter in your hair, you need a rich smelling shampoo with a very good conditioner to get that out,” I told her.

“How do you know that?” Jackie asked.

“It’s a long story that involves a jock obsessed with wanting to date me and a stack of buttered pancakes,” I told her. Kelso returned with paper towels which weren’t going to do much help, so I put in a call to mom to take Jackie home. I went back up to the projector room where Hyde was watching the movie.

“I’ve called in reinforcements to help Jackie out, my mom knows how to handle buttery situations, and Kelso has to walk home,” I told him sitting beside him.

“Who eats buttered popcorn in the dark anyway,” Hyde said. I rolled my eyes at his comment.

“Hey, do you want to go out some time, I know some good spots where you can relax with a beer and listen to music without being caught by the cops.” Hyde said. I smiled slightly and nodded.

“Sure thing,” I replied.

The rest of the movie was uneventful, Eric and Donna were relatively quiet, Fez was slapped four times by three different women and Kelso was sitting in the lobby because he lost his ticket. When it came for us to leave Eric offered me a lift which I accepted, they were a good group.


	4. Amen

Sunday morning. I lay in bed as the sun streamed through the curtains, I was too comfortable to move, relaxed after some self-satisfaction. I heard a knock on the door.

“Come back at noon,” I said.

“Hayley get up, we’re going to church,” mom said from behind the door.

“Church!” I cried sitting up. We didn’t go to Church we’re the Stone family, noted non-Christian, slightly Pagan, and we treat Halloween like the holiday it should be, why are we going to church? “Mom we’re not Christians or whatever branch they worship out this side of Wisconsin,” I told her getting out of bed and opening the door.

“Kitty came by yesterday when you were in the basement with your friends, and she asked if we would like to visit the church and be welcomed by the community, not get your Sunday best, we’re going to church,” mom said. I gave her a confused look, our Sunday best was an array of clothing similar to the Addams Family.

“You’re going to church as Morticia aren’t you,” I said realising what she was up to.

“Oh you know me well darling, now get into your Sunday best, we leave in ten minutes,” she said and left me. I shut the door and went into my closet and pulled out a black dress and a white cardigan, some black tights and my pair of knee-high boots.

 

When I was dressed and went downstairs, mom was in her long Morticia Addams dress and dad was dressed in his Dracula Halloween costume.

“You’re not serious are you dad?” I asked him.

“I’m not wearing the cape,” he said fixing the purple waistcoat.

“Oh Hayley you look lovely, the little black dress always works,” mom said.

“It was all I had as I don’t own Sunday dresses,” I told her. She laughed and we left to go meet the Foreman’s and go to Church.

 

When we got to Church everyone was surprised to see us. Even Kitty had commented on my outfit and Red just thought dad was dressed ‘like a rich dumbass’. We took a seat next to the Foreman’s in the pew as the Pastor ‘Dave’ stood up to spout his clichés.

“Friends, today we have some new sheep to our flock, ladies, gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the Stone family from Cleveland, Ohio.” Everyone began clapping which felt really odd to me and I glanced at Eric who shrugged in confusion at the applause, and then Pastor Dave decided to keep on talking.

“Let’s talk about community and how we should accept new members, we have new people who as…odd as they look-,” Dave began.

“That counts as judging which goes against the code of Jesus,” I shouted out. Dave glared at me and ignored my comment.

“They are welcome to the community and will hopefully become valued members,” he said. The rest of the speech was boring and slightly hypocritical and by the end I was ready to fall asleep again.

As we left the church Pastor Dave stopped to talk to my parents and me and Eric went and hung out by the car with Donna.

“Good call out on the judging thing, people always forget that passage exists,” Donna said. I nodded in agreement.

“Judge not lest he be judged himself, it’s the easiest rule in the book and no one manages to follow it, if the bible came with a test, majority of people would fail,” I told them.

“You coming over to the basement later?” Eric asked.

“You know it, I might keep the dress on not many people can get away with going to church dressed like this,” I said giving them a twirl.

“You are going to be very popular at school Hale,” Donna said.

“I hope not, popularity is what got Jefferson obsessed with me in the first place, let me stay average and I should be able to survive high school,” I said.

 

That evening after being forced to change by my mom, I was sitting in the basement with Hyde with a large box of my dad’s vinyls.

“So they let you move in,” I said after listening to Hyde talk about how he ended up living with the Foreman’s.

“Yep, real nice of them, but I do pay rent, it’s better than what used to be home, at least here I can have a shower,” Hyde told me.

“Slightly gross, but Red and Kitty seem like nice people, even if Red scares the hell out of me,” I said as I looked over my dad’s Zeppelin Vinyl.

“He fought in two wars he’s allowed to be scary,” Hyde said as I put the vinyl back in the box. “Say Hale, do you want to go visit the water tower, I can recount every story about Kelso falling off it,” he said.

“I would love to see this famous water tower,” I replied. I couldn’t fathom the idea that someone as stupid as Kelso could survive about ten falls off that tower.

We borrowed the Vista Cruiser and drove out to the water tower, it was slightly decrepit and falling apart.

“This thing looks like one rainstorm away from falling apart, why do you guys insist on climbing it,” I asked Hyde as we climbed up the ladder to sit on the platform surrounding it.

“Sure it’s old and falling apart, but it’s a nice view, plus no cops around,” he said. He had a point, we sat on the platform, you could see some of Point Place from the tower and it looked pretty in the evening gloom. “You looking forward to school tomorrow?”

“I guess, I mean I have to go through the whole new kid thing and all the forms and choosing classes, the regular stuff,” I told him. I never wanted to be considered the new kid, it just means everyone needs to know your business and I don’t want people knowing my business. “Anyway with you and your friends, I should be able to survive Point Place,” I told him.

“You’ll cruise through high school Hayley, you’re smart and you’re a total babe,” Hyde told me. I smiled and turned to him.

“You’re pretty hot too,” I said moving closer to him.

“You think?” he asked. I leaned in and kissed him, he moved his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. The feeling was amazing but the awareness of the water tower wasn’t exactly helping, I pulled back and looked over at the cruiser.

“Let’s move this to the cruiser,” I told him.

“I like the sound of that,” Hyde said.

A while later we were in the backseat of the Vista Cruiser and 10cc was playing on the radio. Hyde was lying along the backseat and I was on top of him, our kisses ranged between soft and intense as the music played. He had one hand in the back pocket of my jeans and the other resting on my back. The sun had gone down and it was soft rock hour on WFPP radio, I wasn’t sure of the time but I didn’t really care.

“And that was 10cc’s I’m Not in Love, up next we’ve got Strange Brew from Cream, enjoy,” said the guy on the radio. As the music changed our kisses slowed and then stopped.

“We should get going, Foreman’s going to kill me for taking his car when he needed it tonight,” Hyde told me. I laughed a little at the idea of the skinny neighbour boy trying to kill Hyde.

“Okay, but I had fun tonight,” I told him before I kissed him again.


	5. New Modern Love

The first week of school went by without a hitch, classes were okay, and no one cared about who I was. I kept close to the group throughout the week until I went to the third floor bathroom before my last lesson to fix some make-up.

“And then she said-...Jackie who is this?” some little blonde said as she walked into the bathroom with Jackie and another girl.

“Let me handle this Judy, um Hayley what are you doing in here?” Jackie asked. Perplexed by her question I turned back to the mirror.

“Fixing my make-up, I want to look good for Hyde in Biology,” I told her.

“This is the popular bathroom, for the popular people,” Judy said to me in a snotty tone.

“I was popular back in Cleveland does that count?” I asked.

“No it doesn’t sweetie, maybe next time you’ll learn your lesson and not come in here,” Judy said. I scoffed, put my lipstick back in my bag, and turned to her.

“Listen here you pint-size princess, you don’t make the rules because you’re what fifteen, I’m older than you, plus I’m taller and I’m rich like Jackie here, so I’m going because I have Biology, see you later Jackie,” I said and left the bathroom.

I walked down to Biology and met up with Fez who was, unfortunately, hanging from a locker peg by his sweater vest. Give and Take were by the locker laughing over it all.

“He looks like such a dork,” Give said punching Take in the arm.

“Yeah man,” Take replied. I rolled my eyes and walked over to them.

“Alright lumberjacks take it outside and leave Fez alone, the guy has to live in a country with you two idiots,” I told them helping Fez down from the peg.

“What did you say little missy?” Give said slamming the locker beside him. I turned to him as Fez stood silently afraid of them.

“I heard you guys are called Give and Take, most people think it’s because you take something and break it, and you give it back, I like to think it’s something else. See you like to give, and he takes it,” I said with a smile.

“You shut your mouth you little bitch,” Take said stepping in.

“Hey I’m not judging man, I’m just telling it like it is, it’s the seventies man, open up your mind, let’s go Fez,” I said ushering Fez away before Give did some damage.

 

We made it to Biology with a few minutes to spare.

“Thank you Hayley, those two bullies would have given me a real butt-kick,” Fez told me as we entered the classroom.

“It’s called an ass-kicking Fez and should Give and Take give you any more trouble, tell them I can ban them from the Cineplex, if there’s one thing I can hold over everyone in this school it’s the Cineplex,” I said to him as we sat down at a table with Hyde, Donna, and Eric.

“You ran into Give and Take, they didn’t break anything did they?” Eric asked.

“No, I just…made myself their next target,” I said getting my textbook out my bag. Maybe implying they were a couple was a bit of a stretch. The lesson went by quickly and soon it was the end of the day, Hyde and I were waiting by Eric’s car waiting for our ride home.

“Since when did bathrooms have a popularity reputation,” I said to him as Judy glared at me from across the parking lot.

“It’s high school man, popularity means everything until you leave and then no one gives a crap if you were Miss Homecoming or Prom Queen,” Hyde told me. He had a point, high school while providing an education, also provided so much drama between people.

“Maybe it was a mistake to put horny, hormonal and angst-y teenagers into a building together for four years, it just breeds trouble,” I said.

“I hear that, do you want to make out?” Hyde asked.

“Try and stop me,” I said pulling him to me and kissing him. He pushed me against the car and pulled my shirt a little before the sound of Eric interrupted us.

“Please stop making out against my car,” he said to us in slight disgust.

“We better not mention what we did in the car last week then,” I said to Hyde as we broke apart to get into the car.

“You had sex in the car?” Eric asked loudly catching the attention of a few passing students. They glanced at me and Hyde and then walked off whispering to each other.

“No Foreman, we didn’t have sex in the car why would you jump to that conclusion?” Hyde said hitting Eric on the arm. I laughed and got into the backseat. True, Hyde and I hadn’t had sex yet, we’d only known each other a week, but it didn’t seem like a bad idea to get it in quickly. Donna, Fez, and Kelso all turned up one after another and Eric drove us all home to the sound of Eric Clapton the radio.

When we got back to Eric’s we went into the kitchen to see Laurie sitting in the kitchen in running shorts and a vest.

“Laurie, shouldn’t you be in college sleeping with your professor,” Eric said to her.

“Shouldn’t you be up in your room not having sex with Donna,” Laurie retorted.

“Hey I’m right here you bitch,” Donna said glaring at Laurie. An enlightening conversation.

“Wow you can really feel the love in this family,” I said sarcastically. Laurie didn’t seem to appreciate the tone and made a rude gesture in my direction. I shrugged it off and followed them down to the basement but Kelso was reluctant to leave.

“You guys go I’ll wait here with Laurie for…a while,” he said nervously. I gave them a suspicious glance and turned to go into the basement. Kelso and Laurie, yeah they seemed perfect for each other but it wouldn’t be fair to Jackie.

“What is up with Doofus and Sluts McGee?” I asked Hyde as we sat down around the TV.

“Oh Kelso is seeing both Jackie and Laurie and I’m sitting back waiting for it to bite him in the ass which it will,” Hyde replied pulling me into his lap.

“And Jackie doesn’t know about this?”

“None whatsoever, I thought about telling her when I found out, but it wouldn’t be fair to her if she found out through us,” Donna explained. That didn’t seem right, even I knew that cheating was wrong.

“But if she finds out and then finds out you guys all know, wouldn’t she be hurt that none of you told her?” I asked. Total silence, guess they never thought it through.

“When Jackie does find out and she will, it will allow me the opportunity to make Jackie my woman,” Fez said with a grin.

“That doesn’t make it any better Fez, she should know what a jerk her boyfriend is and then wait a few weeks before she goes into your arms lovingly, never be the rebound Fez that will just let her bounce back to single life easier after a meaningless fling trust me I’ve been there, you do not want to be on the rebound after a bad break-up,” I told him.

“You’ve been a rebound chick?” Hyde asked intrigued by this new information. I nodded.

“I’m sixteen years old and this guy Jordan Pines just breaks up with his hot cheerleader girlfriend, she does the breaking up because she believes she deserves better, breaks the guy’s heart. I’m hanging out at this little burger joint called the Pratt Fall and Pines comes in and sees me, he looks sad I ask what’s up and we talk for a few hours…we ended up having sex in his car that evening and when he drove me home he said and I quote ‘thanks, that made me feel much better’ after that he barely acknowledged me or that night, it hurt, I should have known he was using me.” I hated remembering that story and I hated Jordan for what he did.

“Wow…what an ass,” Eric said after a moment of silence.

“I know, anyway he’s history and I’m in Point Place with you guys, I don’t think my past in Cleveland will ever follow me here,” I told them. When the melancholy moment had passed and Kelso had entered the basement with his shirt backwards we watched the afternoon shows on the TV before Red came downstairs to kick us all out. I stayed behind with Hyde and we retreated to his room in the back of the basement.

“You live in a basement, I can respect that, we didn’t have a basement back home it was a wine cellar…with no wine,” I said as we lay on his mattress listening to some Pink Floyd.

“You should have seen where I used to live, this is practically a palace compared to that shack,” he told me.

“Nice, so I neglected to mention this earlier but my parents have to go back to Cleveland to attend Mr. Fancy Senator’s dinner party so you and I get the house to ourselves for the weekend and my dad gets to throw cheese cubes at him again,” I told him.

“So house party?” Hyde asked.

“Oh yes, but we can’t use my parents strong liquors, they own absinthe which…you really don’t want to try that.”


	6. Mayhem

Saturday. The night of my house party. Mom and dad were by the front door with their bags ready to go back to Cleveland, the party wasn’t till the evening so I had plenty of time to prepare.

“Remember our promise Hayley, the liquor cabinet stays locked and we won’t ground you,” mom told me.

“You have one of the keys, and unless Kelso can pick locks it’s going to be fine, have a good weekend and dad don’t overdo it on the cheese cubes,” I said. Dad laughed at the comment.

“I’ll try and leave some for the other guests, have a good weekend and don’t destroy the house,” he said. I watched their taxi pull away from the house and as soon as I knew they were out of sight and I went out the house and ran across the parking space and down into Eric’s basement.

In the basement Eric and Donna were watching TV with Hyde and Kelso, I walked in, slammed the door and sat on the arm of the sofa.

“My parents are gone, so I’m going to need favours in order for this party to be a hit,” I said to them.

“What kind of favours?” Eric asked.

“I need you to drive me and Kelso to the liquor store to get a keg, a tap, and…well a lot of beer, my parent’s liquor cabinet is off limits and is locked, Kelso can get all the alcohol because he’s eighteen and we load it into the cruiser and back to mine. Donna you’re going to call Jackie and let her spread the word about the party, she’s popular she has connections and Hyde, I’m going to need your expertise to make sure Red or Bob don’t call the cops on the party, I made a promise to my parents that there won’t be trouble,” I told them.

“I can do that,” Donna said.

“Great, alright Doofus, Skinny to the Vista Cruiser,” I said pointing to the door. The three of us left the basement and got in the car. “Alright Kelso, I’ve got the deposit for the keg,” I said as I got into the backseat.

“Wait, deposit, we’re not buying the keg?” Eric asked as he started the car.

“You don’t buy a Keg Eric, you rent them you put down a deposit on the keg and buy the beer for it. We’re getting Rolling Rock so that’s going to be about eighty bucks plus the tap which will be twenty bucks, plus another forty bucks for packs of beer and then on Monday before school you’ll help me return the keg and tap,” I told them as we drove out of the street.

“You know we stole a keg once,” Kelso said. I looked at him with a confused look.

“How?” I asked.

“We cut study hall and found it in the middle of the road, we stole it and attempted to have a party in an empty pool before we got caught,” Eric told me.

“Also Give and Take broke the tap for the keg,” Kelso said.

“Of course they did,” I said. Figures they would do something like that.

Eric pulled up outside the liquor store and Kelso and I went inside. I handed Kelso the money and we went to the counter.

“Hello there my good man, I would like a keg of Rolling Rock and forty bucks worth of canned beer,” Kelso said in a fake overconfident voice to the bearded fellow behind the counter.

“Would you like a tap with that beer?” the guy at the counter asked.

“Yes?” Kelso asked looking at me. I rolled my eyes at his stupidity and took over.

“Yes, one tap to go with the keg, make it a half barrel keg as well,” I said taking the money from Kelso and passing it over to the man. He looked at us and squinted his eyes suspicious.

“Why did you start talking?” he asked.

“Because he’s an idiot,” I told Beard Man as he handed the tap to Kelso. At that moment Give and Take walked. “Oh great, it’s tweedledee and Tweedledum,” I said to Kelso. He turned and froze.

“Oh no, don’t make them break the tap,” Kelso said clutching the tap to his chest like it was his baby. I walked over to the two and they turned to me, angry from the other day.

“Look here bro, it’s the Wicked Bitch of the Mid-West,” Give said squaring up to me.

“Wow original,” I said sarcastically as Take squared up as well. “Look I know I went over the line with the implications of your nicknames it was immature,” I said apologetically. Give squared down and looked at Take.

“Well…we are a…a thing you know, it’s just…well we’d rather not let everyone know, you know,” he said.

“Oh I understand, people are dicks, but my point is it was wrong of me to joke, so to make up for my behaviour, I’m inviting you to my party tonight, just don’t break anything except hearts,” I told them.

“Alright a party, thanks Stone, we’ll see you tonight,” Give said as he and Take then left the store without buying anything. I turned back to Kelso who was shocked by the whole event.

“How did you do that, the last time I confronted them, they broke my slinky,” he said. I shrugged and went back to the counter which now had the keg on top of it.

“I just said sorry for the comment and they…well it doesn’t matter, what matters is they won’t break anything,” I told him as the Beard Man took our money. We went back to the car with all our alcohol and loaded it into the back of the cruiser. Eric was sitting in the car listening to WFPP and we got back in.

“Alright Eric, let’s go back to mine and drop everything in the kitchen,” I ordered.

“So Hale, are you and Hyde going to do it tonight?” Kelso asked. I looked at him, confused, shocked and slightly offended.

“Kelso…why would you ask me that?” I asked him.

“Well see I had to wait a whole year before I finally did it with Jackie and at least Laurie is up for it whenever, I just figured that you and Hyde would get it over with faster than Eric did with Donna,” he said.

“Kelso!” Eric cried.

“Well to answer your invasive question, I don’t know, when it’s right, it’s right you know, you don’t need to do it immediately that’s how accidents happen,” I told him. We arrived back at my house shortly and brought all the beer and the keg into the kitchen. Kelso then left to go home and Eric and I ventured into his basement. Hyde was still down there but Jackie was there with Fez.

“How are we doing on invites?” I asked Jackie.

“All the popular people are coming, I can tell you that much,” she said. Not the most helpful answer but if it meant people were coming, then people were coming. I sat down next to Hyde and kissed him with a little more force than usual which surprised him.

“That was something,” he said with a grin.

“Well tonight’s going to be a good night,” I told him. Perhaps Kelso was right, better to get it out of the way, no pressure then.

That evening the party was in full swing, rock was playing, the keg was tapped and Give and Take hadn’t broken a single thing all evening. Eric was actually having fun and Kelso and Jackie were in a corner of the living room sucking face. I went into the kitchen where Hyde was sitting on the table drinking a can of beer with Fez.

“Your party is a hit Stone, it’s been a while since I’ve been to a good party,” Hyde said raising the can in a toast-like fashion. I smiled and pulled him into a forceful kiss.

“Alright you two, knock it off,” Fez said disgusted.

“No way Fez, Hyde come with me, leave the drink,” I said tugging his hand. I lead him out of the kitchen, through the living and up the stairs and into my room. I opened the door and pushed him in, shutting it behind me and locking it. When the locked clicked into place I pulled Hyde to me in a forceful kiss. He ran his hands around my waist and pushed me against the door. When our lips parted for air, I pushed him away from me and moved away from the door.

“If I knew this is what we’d be doing, I’d have brought protection,” Hyde commented.

“Don’t worry I have it covered,” I said pushing him onto my bed and climbing over him and kissing him again.


	7. Gonna Get Mine

“If I knew this is what we’d be doing, I’d have brought protection,” Hyde commented.

“Don’t worry I have it covered,” I said pushing him onto my bed, climbing over him and kissing him again. He kissed me back and slid one hand up under my shirt, I felt him tug at the clasp of my bra and with one slight movement unhooked them. He pulled both my shirt and my bra off together.

“Hot damn,” he said marvelling at my upper body. I grinned and kissed him again before someone started banging on the door.

“What!” I shouted to the person behind the door.

“It’s Donna, we have a situation downstairs, Eric’s drunk and out of control,” she said. I sighed and looked at Hyde. “Sorry Hyde, but I’ll let you kill Eric when he’s sober,” I told him reaching for my t-shirt. I pulled the bra out from it and put the shirt back on and climbed off Hyde.

“Oh I’m going to kill him,” he said sitting up. I unlocked the door and walked out and downstairs. Sure enough Eric was on my parent’s four thousand dollar coffee table with no shirt and singing.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I muttered to myself. I went to the table and stood on it to get Eric down. “Come on Eric, let’s get you into the kitchen,” I told him.

“You’re so cute Hayley, cuter than Donna,” he said to me with a lopsided grin. I stared at him and guided him to the kitchen, Hyde followed me in to help get Eric a chair.

“Come on buddy, let’s get you sobered up so Red doesn’t kick your ass,” Hyde said. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water and handed it to Eric.

“Drink it up,” I told him.

“Okay mommy,” he muttered and did so. As we left him to sip his water Hyde and I went to the counter.

“Well, there goes our plan,” I said to him leaning against the counter.

“Yeah, but I have to say, you have an amazing rack, even if I only saw it for ten seconds,” Hyde told me.

“That makes it a bit better, you sure he’s going to be okay, he seems pretty out of it,” I said. Eric was rocking side to side with the water, mumbling lyrics to an Aerosmith song.

“I should take him back home, Red and Kitty are still out and I think Eric’s had enough,” Hyde told me. I glanced at Eric, he looked really out of it.

“Good plan, everyone seems to be winding down anyway, it is…eleven, wow these kids are weak,” I said noting the time. Hyde kissed me and then went to help Eric up and home, Donna helped Eric up as well to take him home, and I was left to help direct people out of the house without them throwing up.

By midnight the only people left in the house were Fez and Kelso. Donna and Jackie were at the Pinciotti’s for a sleepover, and Eric was at his house sleeping off the alcohol.

“Great party Hayley,” Fez said.

“Yeah, you’re the best,” Kelso said, he had sunk into the couch and was half asleep.

“You guys can crash here tonight, don’t want you returning to your host parents’ house drunk now do we Fez,” I said as I sat between them.

“My host parents are jerks, they’re super Christian and are always telling me I’m going to hell, especially because I’m Pagan too,” Fez told me.

“Nobody likes being told they’re going to hell, my grandmother said that to me when I was five because I wanted a Barbie doll, well I got that doll and she died, so who’s in hell now grandma,” I said looking down at the floor.

“I feel bad about cheating on Jackie, but what choice do I have, Laurie is hot,” Kelso said randomly.

“Kelso, let me tell you something my friend Spitty told our friend Chuckles ‘a guy who cheats with no remorse is a dick, but a guy who cheats and feels remorse…he’s also a dick, but still has a chance at atonement’ and if Jackie finds out and she will, you might still have a chance, but you’re a major dick for cheating on her in the first place,” I told him.

“Can I stay on the couch with Fez?” Kelso asked.

“Sure Kelso, meanwhile I’m going back up to my room, you guys can sleep down here and tomorrow we shall have ice-cream for breakfast,” I said getting off the couch.

“By the way, I can totally tell you’re not wearing a bra,” Kelso noted as he drifted off. Creeped out by how he knew that I went back up to my room to see Hyde sitting on my bed waiting for me.

“I climbed back through the window,” he said. I said nothing but the moment had unfortunately passed. “We don’t have to do anything,” he added noticing my reluctance.

“Thanks, Fez and Kelso are downstairs on the couch, I promised them ice-cream for breakfast,” I told him as I sat down on my bed.

“That’s fine, I put Eric to bed but not before telling him that he owes me big time for screwing up the moment,” Hyde told me as I lay back.

“I know how he can owe us,” I said.

“How?” he asked lying down beside me.

“We have sex in his car and not tell him,” I said. Hyde smiled at that idea, it seemed like the perfect way to get back at Eric.

“I like it.”

 

The next morning Hyde and I were greeted in the kitchen by Fez making pancakes, what puzzled me was we didn’t have any pancake batter.

“Morning guys, how do you like your pancakes?” he asked cheerfully as Kelso sat at the counter staring at the toaster. We sat down for pancakes and listened to Kelso complain about how he can’t decide if he should tell Jackie the truth.

“It’s just Laurie’s hot but Jackie’s special you know,” he said to us as I ate my pancakes.

“Just tell her man, she’ll get mad and try to hit you but you’ll feel better for it,” Hyde advised, I snorted he just wanted to Kelso to lose his dignity. Fez sat down with us and we discussed the party when the doorbell rang.

“I bet it’s Bob, he’s insistent that we come over for dinner some time,” I said getting up from my seat. I headed through the living room to the front door and opened it. Standing outside dressed an Aerosmith shirt and black jeans was Tommy Jefferson.

“Hi Hayley,” he said sheepishly waving.

“Oh fuck!”


	8. Bad Girl’s World

“Jefferson, what the hell are you doing here?” I asked closing the door behind me.

“Cheryl told us you’d moved to Wisconsin,” he replied. How did Cheryl find out, I only told a few people unless…Chuckles.

“Chuckles cracked didn’t he.”

“Like an egg, but I had to see you, see how you were doing and…maybe talk about us…” Jefferson said trailing off at the end.

“Tom there is no us, there never was us, also I have a boyfriend now,” I told him.

“Do you still think I wasn’t serious, Hayley there was no bet, I really wanted to go out with you,” he insisted.

“Then if you truly were serious you would have let me go and not followed me out here to Wisconsin,” I told him, I wanted to yell at him. To tell him to go back to Cleveland, but I couldn’t. “I don’t know what you want from me.” Jefferson sighed and looked down at his feet.

“I know I took it too far, with the pancakes, interrupting your band…and getting you that puppy, Spitty and Chuckles explained it in great detail why it was a bad idea to do all that,” he said. This wasn’t easy, part of us moving to Point Place was to get away from Jefferson, but now that he followed me here. Ah I was never one to hold grudges against idiots.

“Well so much for my past not following me here, you may as well stay for breakfast and talk some sense into Kelso,” I said reluctantly opening the door.

“Who’s Kelso?” Jefferson asked.

“A cheating dick who can’t figure out what to do with the fact that he’s dating two different girls,” I explained as we walked in. Explaining this to Hyde was going to be fun. As we entered the kitchen, Kelso was still moping and staring at the toaster and Hyde was drinking coffee.

“Hey remember when I said that my past would never follow me here, well guess who drove all the way from Cleveland, Ohio to have breakfast with us,” I said introducing Jefferson to them.

“You must be Jefferson…you look like a nice man,” Fez said with a smile as he poured more pancake mix into the pan.

“So you’re the scumbag who didn’t know when to quit,” Hyde said with a threatening tone.

“Guilty as charged, I should probably leave,” Jefferson said turning but I stopped him.

“No way, I want to hear about the puppy,” Hyde said with a devilish grin. Of course he would.

“Alright, I assume you know about how I interrupted the Screaming Priests set during one of our formals, I wanted to make things right so I went to the pet store and saw the cutest little chocolate Labrador puppy, I called him Snowdrop because he looked so cute, so I went over to her house and left Snowdrop on the doorstep with a note as well,” Jefferson began.

“When I saw the note and the puppy, I knew things had gone too far so I took the puppy back to Jefferson and gave him a big speech on how you don’t apologise with puppies, by the way how is Snowdrop?” I continued.

“Snowdrop had puppies with the Labrador next door, they want to find homes for them, do you want one?” Jefferson replied.

“How about it Hyde, think we’re ready for a dog?” I said to Hyde. Hyde shrugged.

“Whatever,” he said. I turned to Jefferson and nodded.

“That’s Zen for yeah I’ll take one of those puppies, I’ll give dad a call and tell him to pick the cutest one up on the way,” I said reaching for the phone. Jefferson turned to Hyde and smiled but Hyde just stared at him, deadpan. I knew he wasn’t too thrilled with Jefferson being here. “And while I’m on the phone, Jefferson talk to Kelso.”

“What is the problem Kelso?” Jefferson asked.

“I’m dating two really hot chicks…but I don’t know who I should break up with, cause Laurie is…wow but Jackie is also like…whoa, I don’t know this is too hard why can’t I just date them both and have everyone be cool?” Kelso asked exasperated.

“Because Kelso this isn’t Utah,” I pointed out dialling the numbers for the hotel my parents were staying at.

“Hale has a point, you can’t expect to get away with it society has expectations when it comes to relationships, the idea of a man dating two women might seem good in theory but in reality it’s just pitting the two women against each other, both of them wonder if they are not good enough and blame each other for his own infidelity, we discussed this in our feminism class,” Jefferson explained. I looked at him puzzled as I waited for dad to pick up.

“Since when were you a feminist?” I asked him.

“You know my mom is on the Women of Cleveland Committee for Progression,” he replied. Hyde leaned forward and beckoned Jefferson in as I listened to the dial tone.

“Did the feminists tell you stalking girls is…not feminist at all?” Hyde asked mockingly.

“Oh boy did they let me have it, I tell you man, women when they band together are a force of nature not to be reckoned with, and there’s a good chance that this Jackie will get her friends together and destroy you,” Jefferson said.

“I don’t think feminism is going to help me out here,” Kelso said slightly confused by the whole ordeal, Jefferson sighed heavily at Kelso.

“Just pick one Kelso, it’s like choosing between a cupcake or cookie, you pick the one that will make you happy for longer, ergo you pick the cupcake, ergo…whichever one you started dating first,” he said.

“So I should choose Jackie then,” Kelso guessed.

“Bingo! He gets the money shot,” I called out, the dial tone stopped and my dad answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi dad are you still in Cleveland, before you leave could you pick me up a puppy from Mrs Linskey’s house, Jefferson said her dog had puppies so grab me the cutest one,” I told him.

“How did Jefferson tell you this?” Dad asked confused.

“He’s sitting in our kitchen right now, it’s a long story,” I replied.

“I’ll get right on it, and the liquor cabinet better still be locked when I get back,” dad said before hanging up. I put the phone back and turned to Fez.

“No one got into the cabinet did they?” I asked him.

“How could they when I have the keys,” Fez said holding up the keys and then tossing them to me.

“How are you still single?” I asked him. It was a real mystery to me that Fez didn’t have a girlfriend, to the girls I knew in Ohio Fez was exactly what they would want. Maybe Wisconsin had bad taste.

Breakfast went over smoothly and after telling Kelso how to break up with Laurie four times, he finally got the message. Whether or not he would actually do it was another question. Hyde had to go to work leaving me and Jefferson to clean up the house of plastic cups, empty bottles and a pair of trousers somebody had left behind.

“So how do you like Point Place?” Jefferson asked me as he cleared up a red cup pyramid that had been built during the party.

“Honestly it’s better than Cleveland, plus less bitches, I might have to bring Fez to Ohio for a weekend reunion, dude can’t find a date here for some reason,” I replied as I counted the liquor bottles in the cabinet to verify Fez’s claim.

“I know why, Wisconsin is racist,” Jefferson exclaimed. I laughed and nodded in agreement.

“You’re probably right, how is everyone back home?”

“Spitty finally came out, Chuckles never needed to come out but he decided to come out again anyway, and I’m dating Cheryl now,” Jefferson said.

“You couldn’t have led with the Cheryl thing first when you were at the door?” I asked him.

“You never asked, she was on me as soon as you left, can’t blame her, she thought you were a threat,” he told me.

“I used to sit under the bleachers with Spitty and smoke pot, how was that threatening?” I asked. Jefferson shrugged at the question.

“I don’t know.”

“Well we’re almost done here, let’s head over next door, I need to check on my friend Eric, he had a bit too much to drink last night,” I said and tied a knot on the full bag of garbage.


End file.
